APPRECIATING WHAT WE ARE GIVEN

Dr. Tesfa G. Gebremedhin

West Virginia University

It is commonly observed among many parents that they try to spoil their children by buying expensive brand name shoes, clothes, electronics, and videos. To buy such kind of stuff beyond their financial limits, some parents have to work over time or extra hours by reducing the precious time they could have spent at home with their children. Others purposely do it because they like their children to have something different from what other children have. Consequently, many of our children find it difficult to show gratitude because they think that it is our responsibility to provide them with what they want at any price. They take everything they get for granted because they fail to notice that everything in this world has a price to pay. We, as parents, are most of the time the ones who create the unnecessary competition among ourselves and among our own children. We also make our children develop some undesirable attitudes toward their parents and others because children always mimic us on a daily basis the way we live our lives and they are molded to be like us by our words and deeds. Many times parents fail to realize that competition with other parents weakens and defeats us. We also fail to explain to our children how to appreciate the little things they get as gifts or value the little things they have in their own households. To elaborate the need for appreciation of what we are given, I would like to share a story I have learned from a good friend.

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months, he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him in so many ways that was all he wanted for his graduation gift. As graduation day approached, the young man awaited signs that indicated that his father had purchased the sports car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation day, his father called him into his private study room. The young man was very excited to hear to his father’s call. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He hugged and kissed him on both sides of his cheeks. Then, he handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the gift box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold on top of the cover of the Bible. Angrily, the young man raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible? Haven’t I told you what I wanted?” To his father’s surprise, the young man knocked down the Bible with anger against the table and stormed out of the house cursing and complaining. He left home that same day without saying “Goodbye” to his father. That same evening of the day members of the family, friends, and invited guests came to the house to celebrate the graduation party of the young man, but the man of the hour was not in sight.

Many years passed and none of them ever made any effort to contact each other. The young man became very successful in his professional career. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father by then was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to see him. He had not seen his father since that graduation day and many years have passed unnoticed. Before he could make arrangements for his trip to see his father, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his only son. The young man needed to come home immediately and take care of things. His father died before he had the chance to see his son again. His children have never seen their grandfather and it was a pity that his father has never seen his grandchildren due to a simple misunderstanding. When the young man arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart because he left home with anger and over the years he did not make peace with his father. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago on the top of the table in his father’s private study room. With tears running from both eyes, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matthew 7:11, "And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped on the floor from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired when he was a college student. The date and year of his graduation, and the words, “PAID IN FULL” with his father’s signature was written on the tag.

The moral lesson of the story is that gifts are not always packaged the way we want. If your gift is not packed the way you want it, it is because it is better packed that way whether it is a big or little thing. Some of us would say, the father could have told his son to see well inside the box instead of letting him run away from him for a long time. We may wonder why he waited so long and just die and let his son find out about the gift later after his death along with his will. Well, right away the father could not do it because his son ran away with anger and thought that it was not the right time to explain to him. Then, it was too late for him to catch up with time. Parents need to have patience and tolerance on the spontaneous reaction of the children who are young, impatient and vulnerable to anything. But, the father could have made a big difference, if he had talked and explained to his son before his death. Perhaps the father forgot that death does not give any appointment for preparation; he should know that it could come anytime without making any announcement. Some of us may also wonder why the young man waited that long without seeing his father; he could have talked to his father and find out why he did what he did. Well, the son did not do it as he was expected because he was overcome by mere pride and arrogance and that made him to think that he did not need his father. Both the father and son and the grandchildren ended up losing one another. The grandchildren could have grown up knowing and adorning their grandfather. The grandfather also could have enjoyed being a part of the lives of his grandchildren. Parents should not wait too long to explain to their children; particularly anything concerning their welfare under any situation, otherwise it will be too late to change and alter their attitudes and values later.

How many of our children appreciate what they have today? As parents, we need to explain to our children to always appreciate little things even if they are not packaged the way they want. Many times our children may not appreciate our gifts or blessings because they are not packaged as they expected. We need to make them understand not to spoil what they have by desiring what they have not. We need to make our children remember that what they now have was once among the things they only hoped for. As parents we need to remind them not to forget that happiness does not always come as a result of getting something we do not have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating the little things that we do have. The greatest need of every human being is the need for appreciation and the moral lesson of the story should extend far beyond the concerns for the welfare of our children. Realizing the need for appreciation, a day of “Thanksgiving” is set aside in America to celebrate the little things that we have and cherish the blessings of what we are given by the almighty God/Allah. Thank you.