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WORDS OF
APPRECIATION FOR SURVIVAL AND SUCCESS Dr.
Tesfa G. Gebremedhin West Virginia University How much appreciation do our children receive from their parents? We
have observed huge increases in negative influences on our children now more
than those of our generation. We failed to realize how much stronger our
children can be with a good dose of appreciation coming to them. Children are
often delighted with a range of appreciation that is received from parents as
rewards like: “Well done! Good job! You can do it! You can make it! I am proud of you!” These words
are not pep talks rather they are words of sincere appreciation. It is human
nature that each of us from all walks of life craves to be appreciated from
time to time for some reasons. Children, in particular, need to be
appreciated in order to build their self-esteem and enhance self-worth as a
foundation for life. What percentage of our words to our children is positive and
appreciative? How much time do we spend as a family and community saying and
doing positive things together? One of the most powerful influences we can
make upon our children is what we say with the power of our words. Our
positive words can be the best reward and blessing and our negative words can
be the worst tool of torment and agony to our children. Our words of
appreciation can create the good feelings and trust with our children. With
appreciation, children grow up with positive sense of self identity and they
are less vulnerable to peer pressure to get in trouble. Without appreciation,
children suffer from negative distorted self-image and do not possess own
strength and power. As Bill Cosby elaborated, nothing we ever try to do will
give us more joys and rewards than being real parents to our children and
spend more time with them for support and encouragement and appreciate their
wonderful activities in life. Obviously, whatever we do to them when they are
young and vulnerable they will do the same thing to their children and
community when they grow up and hopefully when they become parents. We can learn a good moral lesson from an interesting story by an
unknown author. The story tells that at one time there were a bunch of tiny
frogs that arranged a running competition among themselves. The goal of the
race was to reach the top of very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around
the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. As the race began,
honestly, no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach
the top of the tower. Some discouraging statements were heard from the crowd
such as, "They will never make it
to the top” or saying: “Not a
chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high and the frogs are too
weak!" As the race continued, the tiny frogs began collapsing, one
by one, except for those very few who were still persistently climbing higher
and higher towards the top of the tower despite the crowd continued to
discourage and make them give up hope. The crowd was still saying, "It is too difficult for the tiny frogs! No
one will make it!" As they become more discouraged more tiny frogs
got tired of the noise from the crowd and gave up, but one tiny frog
continued higher and higher to the top of the high tower. This one tiny frog
would not give up despite the discouraging noise from the crowd. At the end
of the race, everyone else had given up climbing the tower, except for this
one tiny frog. After a big effort, this tiny frog was the only one who
reached the top of the tower. Then, all the other tiny frogs naturally wanted
to know how this one tiny frog managed to do it while all the other tiny
frogs could not reach the top of the high tower. One of the contestants asked
the tiny frog how he had found the stamina to tolerate the yelling crowd and
how he found the strength to succeed and reach the goal. Unfortunately, it
turned out that the winner was deaf and did not bother to hear the noise from
the crowd. This tiny frog concentrated only on the race and the discouraging
noise from the crowd apparently did not hold him back from accomplishing his
dreams and goals. The
winning frog is not different from the other tiny frogs. This tiny frog kept
on running and was successful in the race because he, being deaf, was not
bothered by the toxic words coming from the crowd. The moral lesson of the
story is that it is important to never listen to other people who tend to be
negative or pessimistic because they can take your most wonderful dreams away
from you, the ones you have in your heart you wish them accomplished. As
Winston Churchill indicated, “The
pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity while the optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty.” It means that any difficulty our
children may face in life gives them a good opportunity for overcoming that
difficulty and becomes the good source for learning and enhancing their
careers. We need to find something to appreciate and comfort our children,
particularly during a difficult situation. As parents, we need to watch out
our actions and the words that come out of our mouth. We have to understand
that our words and actions can impact either positive or negative influences
upon the lives of our children. Positive influences cause them to notice
opportunities to pursue their goals and achieve success. Negative influences
cause them to notice problems and sabotage their success and happiness. We
must be aware that our children are the sum of what we, as parents,
contribute to their lives and career through encouragement and support. It is
fair to say that it is not totally their aptitude, but our parental attitude
towards them, that determines their altitude in their life. Quality in parenting is not what we
put into it; it is what our children get out of parenting. It is not the kind
of food, clothing or shelter that we provide, but it is the kind of values,
trust, respect, dignity, and integrity that we teach our children that
matters most. Our children can comfortably appreciate their parents when
every household and every community takes the responsibility, irrespective of
their political ideologies and social affiliations, to establish communities
where our children can meet and know each other and learn about their
cultural heritage and ethnic identity from our professionals and scholars.
Children always want opportunities to learn, grow and develop from seasoned
mentors of the community. They want access to mentors who can pass along
their wisdom of life and career experiences. If we, Eritreans in Diasporas,
really wish to create peace and harmony in our current community situations
and religious institutions, we must begin with our children to come and work
together for their survival and success. Be aware, our children are at risk
inflicted by our senseless virus attack. |
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