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ARE WE CONNECTED
TO EACH OTHER? Dr. Tesfa
G. Gebremedhin West Virginia University Everything in the universe
is connected to the rest of the world on this small planet. We are connected,
electrically, to every electron of every atom of every molecule that
exists in the universe. We, as human beings in particular, are connected
to everything as a part of the cosmos surrounding us. Since everything
that exists is connected to all human beings electrically, we are connected
to the trees, the birds, the fish, the animals, and other living things. We
need to understand the interconnection and interdependence of all living
and non-living entities, and of all phenomena that happen in the life
cycle. This means that everyone, particularly every human being, is
our brother or sister because we live in the age of interdependence. We
should deal with every person and everything respectfully, and with
great thought and care, realizing that our thoughts and beliefs about
each person and thing can affect them. As Eritreans in particular, even if some of us are here in the United States and others
are in Europe, Asia, Australia, or Africa, we are related to
each other and have kinship with everyone
of us because we are made of the same substance.
If we check our genealogical background, hopefully we have a common
DNA that reflects a particular relationship among the Eritreans. We
are very much connected to each other through common genealogy,
cultural heritage, traditional history, ethnic identity, languages,
religions, governance, legacy of our common
ancestors, and other typical and location specific characteristics.
We are related and should be connected, despite the artificial barriers
we are constructing among ourselves. Today, it is sad to observe
that we have bigger and fancier houses, but we have more divorces and
broken homes. We have higher incomes and better standard of living than
our parents, but we have lower moral and less professional ethics. We
have more knowledge and educational background, but we have lower judgment
and less communication among ourselves. We talk too much and spend a
lot of time gossiping. Our love is too small and we make no effort to
care for our family and friends in our communities. It is a pity that
we have more scholars and professionals who could make a lot of differences,
but we have more social problems in our communities and religious institutions.
There are all kinds of conflicts and
squabbles among Eritreans in Diaspora, whether they emanate from considerations
of differences in political ideology or religious affiliation. We tend
to forget that the more disconnected
families and disintegrated communities we have, the more of a hostile
environment we create to our children. Let me narrate the story
of a young boy and a young girl which may directly or indirectly reflect
our disconnected families and communities. Makda is a young Eritrean
girl and Tedros is a young Ethiopian boy. Both of them started working
in a restaurant at Holiday Inn in Washington, DC area. The restaurant
manager, who happened to be Ethiopian, was surprised to observe that
both Makda and Tedros had the same unique and unusual last name – something
that sounds like Goffar or Garza. Makda and Tedros met at the restaurant
for the first time. They started talking and wondered about what a coincidence
it was that their last name was such the same and a rare name. Makda
came directly from Eritrea and she grew up in Asmara. Tedros came straight
from Ethiopia and he grew up in Jimma. After some months of their acquaintances,
they started dating and in due course of time, their relationship became
very strong and intimate. Finally, they decided to get engaged and wanted
to get married within a year. Makda’s mother came from Eritrea six months
before the wedding. As a mother she wanted to know more about her expected
son-in-law who happened to be a little bit older than her daughter.
One day, when the mother noticed some family resemblance and some familiar
distinct physical features and unique behavioral characteristics of
Tedros, a very disturbing feeling came over her. She started asking
him many questions and became very anxious to know his family’s historical
background. He told her, without any hesitation, about his Ethiopian
mother and his lost Eritrean father. He has never seen his father because
his father has never been part of his life. Fortunately, his Ethiopian
mother had kept for him an old picture of his father and gave it to
him when he was coming to the United States. The full name of his father
(like Garza Ambesajir) and the name of the very village of his father
(like Himberti, Hamassien) were written on the back of the picture.
Apparently, his father had him from his Ethiopian mother when his father
was in University National Service in Jimma. The father did not care
to disclose to his wife and children before his death that he has a
boy somewhere in Ethiopia. He thought that he would be able to keep
this phenomenon as a secret within himself and it would be buried with
him when he died. When Makda’s mother saw the old picture, she instantly
knew that it was the picture of her late husband taken when he was a
college student. Eventually, after recognizing the old picture of her
late husband who happened to be Tedros’s father, she burst into tears.
Tedros and Makda could not understand what happened to her when she
cried out with a loud noise. The mother put the puzzle together and
told them that her little girl Makda and Tedros are very much related
as a brother and a sister from the same father. Luckily, this phenomenal
family connection was discovered three months before the wedding was
about to take place. Now, do we know our siblings?
Do our children know their real brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, and
cousins? Do we connect our children with their relatives? The story
told above reminds us that similar events could occur in many places
due to lack of proper connections among us in our Eritrean communities
in Diasporas. Obviously, if we have viable and solid Eritrean communities,
we can have the opportunity to establish and understand the interconnection
and interdependence of every Eritrean family and consequently our children
will be able to know their genealogical relationship among each other
very well. As a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step, committing
ourselves in establishing a functional community starts with each one
of us in every town. If we have conflicts and misunderstandings among
ourselves, everyone of us has to take the initiative to end that conflict.
The only sensible and intelligent way of resolving
differences and clashes of interests between individuals in communities,
is through dialogue and embracing each other. That
initiative begins at home with our family members and friends. We all
need to change our thoughts in order to positively change our relationship
with others. As we let go of negative states of mind, we create the space in our mind
for the cultivation of positive thoughts. We should all be connected
to each other because we are related as Eritreans in so many ways and
everyone of us is a part of everyone else. We exist through relationship
because nothing exists in isolation. Everyone of us has something common
and typical of us that make us who we are as Eritreans. We could not
have conflicts or love among ourselves if we are not connected to each
other. Hatred weakens our connection and creates hostility and enmity.
Love strengthens our connection and creates peace and harmony among
ourselves and a good understanding with our children. When hatred consumes
us, there is no room for love for others. We cannot live for ourselves alone
and we don't accomplish anything in this world alone.
For whatever happens to some of us, soon happens to the rest
of us because all things are connected. Whatever
happens among us is the result of the whole tapestry of individual threads
from one to another that hold us together. The
reality today is that we are all interdependent. There is no such thing
as a self-made person because we are made up of all others.
If we are separated from the rest of us, obviously it is
a kind of delusion of consciousness. Our lives are connected with every
Eritrean by a thousand invisible threads and our actions that touch
another Eritrean life run as causes and return to us as results because
whatever affects some of us directly, affects the rest of us indirectly.
It is evident that alone we can do so little, but together we can do so
much because great achievements invariably involve the cooperation of
many minds. There is always something we can contribute to our communities. In every place, time and situation, there is a way for us to make a positive difference to our children and communities. In whatever we are able to offer, there are bountiful opportunities as parents to make the effort to instill the love for our ethnic identity and cultural heritage to our children brought up in Diasporas. For the valuable service we ever give to others comes back to us over and over again. The way to bring out the best in others to serve their communities is to put our own best abilities into action. Every achievement is built upon the steady and focused creation of valuable service to the communities. We need to learn to see each moment as an opportunity to create meaningful valuable service, and our communities will be filled with astonishing achievements in serving the old and nurturing the young. When so many others are preoccupied with what they can get, we need to choose to focus on our own thoughts on what and how we can most effectively give or serve to our own communities. That is the path to real self-fulfillment and rewarding community service. The quality and strength of our communities that we would like to build has everything to do with what we are willing to give and serve to the communities because everyone needs help from everyone. We need to contribute our valuable service and make special efforts to support our communities. If we make this investment, we will soon discover that it is the best contribution we could ever make to our communities. Thank you. |