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Stages of Grief Written by Amanuel Biedemariam For a long time I wanted to post this article because I felt that it
is true and is a glimpse into what I believe is a reflection of the process
that many Ethiopians have to go through to let go of the emotional attachment
they have with Eritrea. I am not a psychologist, but using my psychology 101
from college I feel that I found a fitting formula to make sense on how
Ethiopians are progressing towards accepting our independence and as a
nation. The formula: The stages of Grief by Kubler-Ross. The stages are: 3.
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my child(ren)
graduate." The stages and how they apply:
After the independence of
Eritrea many Ethiopians I encountered where shocked and in disbelief. Their
reaction varied and most believed it is a temporary phase and the two
sisterly countries will eventually come together as one after they come to
their senses. They told themselves Eritrea can not sustain itself
economically, politically and as a nation. They were dumb founded
particularly because there was nothing they can do about it due to Weyane’s
unconditional acquiesce to Eritrean independence and their weak
position that followed the fall of Derg. I am sure many Eritreans have
encountered Ethiopians and some Ethiophyles that chose to totally ignore our
independent identity by stating time and again “you are all the same” as if
they know Eritrea and its history. In an effort to undermine Eritrean
independence and with sheer disrespect to Eritrean wishes many Ethiopians
bring up issues that undermine Eritrean and they do it deliberately and some
to this day teach their kids Eritrea as part of Ethiopia. Many use history to manipulate
facts in order to make the case that Eritrea is Ethiopia and most of the
history they bring up is not based on facts but most importantly the facts
they ignore are undisputed facts. My favorite misrepresentation is the
history of colonization and Ethiopia, while they brag about the pristine
colonial past of Ethiopia they ignore Eritrean colonial period on the hands
of the Italians. How is it possible to claim Eritrea is Ethiopia while you
claim you have never been colonized? If that is not denial don’t know what
is. Anger: The
grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt , or
at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting
the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it. I saw true anger directed at Eritrean even by those who claimed to be our
friends after the war broke out and particularly during the period when
Weyane expelled Eritreans from Ethiopia. I felt there was great deal of
satisfaction by some Ethiopians after Weyane expelled Eritreans (there were
sane Ethiopians in Ethiopia and else where who opposed Weyane and helped
Eritreans at a great risk) but, I truly felt there was some feeling of
satisfaction emanating from many. The attitude was they want to be independent,
let them go. I also saw the false bravado expressed during the war
particularly after they penetrated Badme. The exhilaration was unmatched and
I got the sense they felt a release after all the years of defeat on the
hands of Eritreans. This was also exploited very well by Weyane. I don’t
think there is a single Eritrean who doesn’t meet Ethiopians and hear them
express satisfaction about it. Again, if that is not anger I don’t know what
it is because Ethiopians didn’t care about Badme they wanted Eritrea because
they feel Eritrea is Ethiopian. Bargaining: Now the grieving person may make bargains with God/Allah,
asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?" I feel this may be the stage where the majority of Ethiopians particularly
those in the Diaspora may be in. Having gone through a devastating war, they
don’t have the stomach and justification for another war and at the same time
they know this is Weyane’s game so, majority has decided to work
against Weyane. Some are working with us to rid Ethiopia of the filth Weyane
for good. But, the bargaining goes on in many heads of Ethiopians. Some
want Assab, some want Eritrea and some want a regime change so they can get
what they want. Those in this camp justify what is in their head by using
many excuses such as Eritreans are in bad shape under Isayas, It is Isayas
and Meles otherwise Ethiopians and Eritreans are one, no freedom under Isayas
and so on. As you have heard recently, Ghebru Asrat is trying to sell this
idea by raising the issue of Assab to try to galvanize support for his feeble
attempt to subdue Eritrea one more time As Well as Dr. Yacob Hailemariam and
others openly claiming Assab and some venture to Massawa. It is very clear to
almost the entire Ethiopian population that Weyane represents a limited self
interested clique even at the expense of Tigray. We can’t deny the fact that
almost all the leaders are Tigrayans .This helped create a rift between
Weyane’s agenda of war and Ethiopians lack of desire to work with Weyane because
they know the imminent demise of the mercenary thugs of Tigray. This makes
certain that Weyane’s tricks are going down the toilet in Sheraton sooner
than later. But the dying Weyane regime is not to be deterred and as such it is
churning excuses after excuses to try to justify its continuous quest for war
and subjugation of Eritrea while it puts Ethiopian children in constant state
of starvation. While it embraced and cried help for foreign aid in 1999-2003,
it has decided that it is inconsistent with positive image of growth and
prosperity it is trying to create with lies of 10% growing GDP and beg at the
same time. So, the new excuses are based on “Somali refugees” flowing into
Ethiopia and the hunger aid they seek is for the Somali’s and aid for fighting
The War on Terror. But the Ethiopian people remain starved while Meles Zenawi
applies different methods of begging while waging wars of aggression every
where in the Horn prostituting for the West and the US. I find it amusing to see Weyane cry for Eritreans after deporting them by
the thousands, after displacing masses for years and particularly remembering
the liars liar, Meles Zenawi lie to Eritrean people, “we will never scratch
your wounds”, to plaster the refugees in Shimbella camp over and over on ETV
as if it is a major catastrophic event in attempt to tell the gullible that
Eritrea is in dire situation, Eritrean people are suffering under PFDJ and so
on. I actually equate it to the idea of a wounded trying to cure another
wounded with an infected wound. But this wounded thug is laden with the most
deadly disease known to mankind to infect you deliberately. So, Meles can try to fool the gullible inside and out of Ethiopia that he
is the good guy and he is working for the good of Eritrean oppressed and
plaster the made up refugee story of Shimbella camp on his TV over and over
like a broken record while at the same time giving the ideas of regime
change, Assab and by putting the independence of Eritrea in question in order
to keep the bargaining going on the heads of the confused. He regularly
enlists the help of Eritreans who are rejects of their own mothers but want
to be Eritrean Chalabis. My answer to the confused is, “give it up.” If Meles
was capable, he would have done what he did to Somalia in Eritrea in a heart
beat! This is also another lie the thugs in Tigray are churning in the direction
of realizing their ultimate goal, ABBAY TIGRAY. And this is becoming clearer
to every Ethiopian fighting Meles. Conclusion Eritrea is a nation and it
will remain so because the people of Eritrea, the owners of Eritrea have
decided to ascertain Eritrean future not because the US, Ethiopia , OAU, the
UN or any other world body wanted it, Eritrea is one because of its people. The rule of law must prevail
over the rule of the JUNGLE!
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