I’m with my “Devils” against all foreign “Angeles”

WORDS OF ADVICE FOR OUR CHILDREN

Dr. Tesfa G. Gebremedhin

West Virginia University

We, parents, are well aware that our children call us all kinds of names. They claim that we are traditional, old-fashioned, conservative, out of touch, out of style, and even primitive. However, as loving parents, we tolerate their negative and self-centered attitudes, their outlandish hair styles, their loud vulgar music, and their weird style of walk, and their moody talk and slamming doors. We still love them; even if they talk back to us with outright disobedience and disrespect; even if they show defiance by the tendency to lie and cheat habitually; and even if they do the most outrageous things in the world. No parent in his/her right mind starts his/her day trying to make his/her child’s life miserable, despite the fact that parents do a lot of silly things they don’t mean that may hurt their children. Though raising children is a challenge; it is very joyful. Since parents and children pass through different life experiences, they have different cultural values. Consequently, all types of conflicts may arise between the parents and their children. But, under any circumstances, the parental unconditional love to the children remains unshakeable forever. Thus, to the world a child may be one person, but to the parents the child is the whole world.

It is commonly observed that when our children hear the word ‘hero” what usually may come to their minds is the picture of great athletes, outstanding musicians, great singers, or brilliant scholars, or extra ordinary rich persons. You may respect these kinds of individuals for their virtues, but you should really like your hero to be a little more like you, close to you in many ways, personally connected, ordinary person doing extra ordinary things, and these kinds of people are usually your parents. Though some parents may not be ideal, children should not feel ashamed of their parents; even if your parents are not super stars and live humble life; even if they do not speak proper English; even if they work odd jobs and drive old cars; and even if they have low educational background and live in low-income housing. Children should never pour contempt on their parents because they are too dear to be subjected to any sort of ill-treatment. Children should love and respect their parents the way they are and the way they behave. They should grow up idolizing their parents with whom they can personally identify. If you do not respect your parents, you have no respect for yourself. If you do not have respect for yourself, nobody will respect you; even the other animal species will not take you as one of them. The story below from an unknown author illustrates the unconditional love of a parent to his child.

It was a nice day of the spring season when an 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 year old highly educated son. The son came home to visit and spend time with his aging father. When they were relaxing and talking about the good old days, suddenly a crow perched on their window. The father asked his son, "What is this?" The son replied, "It is a crow, father". After a few minutes, the father asked his son the second time, "What is this?" The son said "Father, I have just now told you ‘It is a crow’ sitting on the window edge”. After a little while, the old father again asked his son the third time, “what is this?" At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the son's tone when he said to his old father with a rebuff. "It is a crow, a crow, do you hear me, father". A little after that, the father again asked his son the fourth time, "What is this?" This time the son shouted at his father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?" A little later the father got up on his feet, went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had kept and maintained since his son was born. Upon opening a page from the diary, he asked his son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary: - "Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 24 times what it was, and I replied to him all 24 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 24 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child". While the little child asked his father 24 times "What is this", the father had felt neither irritated nor annoyed in replying to his son to the same question all 24 times and when today the father asked his son the same question just four times (not 24 times), the son felt very irritated, annoyed and shouted at his father in replying to the same question. When the son read what was written about him in the diary of his father, he felt very bad and sad. He was embarrassed to observe himself as a highly educated person showing such ugly behavior towards his father while the humble and loving parent has shown all the patience, tolerance and love to his little son. Surely, he asked for forgiveness from his father.

You will never know how much your parents are worth till you become a parent. If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word; be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be sensitive and considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today". Remember that your mother carried you for nine month while you were growing inside of her. If your mother is alive and close to you, give her a big hug and kiss her and ask her to forgive you for all the dreadful pains you caused on her over the years. If she is far away from you, call her on the phone and tell her that you love her very much. If she passed away, be down on your knees and pray for her eternity. Likewise, say, “Thank you” to your father for all the trying times and all the tears you have caused through the years. It is about time to say a prayer to God, "I will respect and say with sincerity all good and kind words to my dear old parents, no matter how they behave”. You better seek counsel of your parents and pay special attention to them, for parents have the wisdom and wit for your advice. A person who does not seek advice from his parents is arrogant. His arrogance blinds him to truth and makes him evil, stubborn and even expose him to be a danger to society. It is necessary to remember that many things in this world may change over time, but not the unconditional love of parents to their children.

It is essential to understand that family is precious, real and reliable. As Alex Haley indicated, “In every conceivable manner, the family is the link to your past” because you are the extension of your parents and those before them “and the family is the bridge to your future generation” that comes after you. Your family, supported by its community and religious institution, can be your mighty rock to hold on and the fortress where you can be safe and secured. It is the greatest blessing from God to have families working together with the community and religious institution in raising and nurturing the young and the restless to be productive and reliable citizens. As some concerned parent indicated, in family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds us closer together, and the music that brings peace and harmony. Obviously, the love of a nation and the strength of a community are derived from the integrity of the home made up of a solid family. Thus, all parents and children must work together with appropriate discipline and moral values to maintain strong families, to organize formidable communities, and to worship only at the spiritually-oriented religious institutions for the welfare of all generations.

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